I've missed you!

Well that last little blurb brought me down a little bit so now I'm going to try and look to the bright side! (One of mine and Michelle's favourite things to do!♥)

"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else. And for everything you gain, you lose something else. It is about your outlook on life. You can either regret or rejoice..."

And I am damn well going to rejoice! Although I wouldn't say I've really GAINED this somebody, she's always been there and I have always loved her... but somewhere, something has certainly brought us back together... right where we belong! ♥ She use to be one of my very best besties and I can't quite pinpoint where we started to drift but we did... and it sucks! I have missed her ever so much... we had a slight falling out a little while back (I would call it more of a misunderstanding...) but it wasn't long before we were back in eachother's lives!

Well I just wanted to take a quick moment and recognize her because she's been going through a little bit of a tough time and even though I am thousands of miles away, I still hope she knows I am ALWAYS here for her whenever she needs me! Always have been ☺

Some come, some go...

"...The ones that stay with you through everything, they're your true best friends."

Or... so you thought! It's taken me a few days to write this blog and I'm surprised really... generally I'm one to touch on things directly as they happen but this one I kind of just let sit and stew...  I guess to just kind of process it all really. I'm not sure what I was reallly expecting... maybe that things would go back to normal? But the truth is... I don't think things will ever get back there... what's done is done, what's said is said... and there is no going back.

I'm sure you're wondering what the fuck I'm talking about, right!? Well... I lost my best friend. Or who I thought was my best friend anyways... turns out, you never really know anyone. Six years, down the drain...

I'm not really going to talk about it, there's no need to go into detail... I also figure I owe that much to him... he thinks I'm immature because I write these sorts of things, or post to my twitter/FB when really I just use them as some sort of portal for some reason... a chance to spit out whatever it is I want to say when I want to say it... I have that right, don't I!?...

Oh well... he apparently thinks a lot of things about me... I'm jealous, I'm miserable, I'm annorexic, I'm pathetic, I'm childish... and so on and so forth... you see, these are the kinds of things you can't take back... and this, is why we're no longer friends...

But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't going to miss him... or who I thought he was...

Photography obsessed! ☺

Ahh I just had the most amazing morning! (After my little rant there, of course!) Zach still wasn't outta bed so I decided to throw up my hair, toss on some boots, grab my rebel and jet! I unfortunately just missed the sunrise but the good news is the sky still looked absolutely beautiful! I think it's definitely gonna be one heck of a nice day (it was still a little chilly when I was out, my fingers were freezing and the wind was making my eyes water but if I plan on being any kind of photographer I've gotta be armed and ready for all kinds of weather conditions ;) lol) ...and it's about dang time, if I do say so myself.. we've had a dreadful winter!! I've honestly been absolutely depressed, I didn't even take that many pictures because it was so damn hard to go out and enjoy it. Anyways.. I did exactly the opposite this morning, I snapped about 464 photos and I had a heck of a time doing it!☺ I wish Zach was up so he could have enjoyed it with me but to be honest, it was kind of nice just working alone. It was silent and serene... just me and my camera. ♥

I've never really had a hobby before and I'm so friggin' stoked I've found something I just love doing.. I can't get enough of it! I love my class, I've learned so many interesting things and I'm eager to continue doing so. I'm hoping to carry on to Foundations of Photograhy Level 2 and then maybe take some Digital Darkroom classes!! There are a couple others (Black and white, etc.) I wouldn't mind taking too but I'll have to look into them more.. these courses can get a little pricey! However, I don't think you can put a price on happiness and it truly seems to be worth every penny so far!!! I'm not sure if I mentioned in my other blog but one of the drivers at my work (I'd consider him a pretty good friend of mine... he's kind of like a father figure to me..♥) him and his wife are renewing their vows in October for their 25th wedding anniversary and they've asked me to shoot it for them which is a pretty huge honour! I'm beyond excited... and definitely, super nervous.. I've never really worked with people before so I'm going to have to get in some practice before their big day.. again.. LOL! They know not to expect anything too too fabulous as I clearly don't have all the tools or the experience to do so. It would be awesome to have some different lenses to play around with, to have a tripod so I can eliminate some of that camera shake but I don't as of yet, these things are expensive and for a beginner I just can't bring myself to shell out that kind of cash yet but someday, someday I swear! Anyways, so I'm just going to have to do the best I can and I'm sure we'll still walk away with some goodies! This is going to be so0oo fun☺

Well I think I've about rambled on enough here, this blog was kind of pointless and I went a little all over the place but you're just gonna have to get used to these sort of things from me! Teehee ..I'll leave you with some of my fav shots from this AM!!

XOXO,

sammijo*

RANT!!!

* Warning this post is probably going to contain an extremity of foul language because this is what I do when I'm pissed off... I rant! And I don't do it nicely, I don't even do it gramatically correct... I just give 'er and whatever spills out... spills out! Don't say I did warn you*

It's just after 5AM on Saturday, my second of three days off. Which, by the way, doesn't happen often.. we almost never get holidays but sounds like we're going to follow suit with down east and take them every single time from here on out -- woohoo! Back to the point... I'm not overly thrilled to be awake this early on my day off but what fucking else is new?! Zach was up at 3AM... douche!

Anyways, logged on to my FB... because what the fuck else is there to do this early in the morning!? Plus, let's face it.. that's likely what I'd do anyways 8-) back to the point, again... facebook... logged on, to be greeted with some fucking BITCH I honestly can't fucking stand... I don't think anyone makes my blood boil anymore than this dumb fucking braud. I tried to block her so I wouldn't get so fucking enraged over it (honestly probably the best idea) but I found that I unblocked her because I'm just so absolutely shocked at how fucking moronic she can be... the things she posts are beyond retarded... she's a stupid fucking little girl who is pathetic and has no fucking idea what she wants in life so she just absolutely takes advantage of someone who means the world to me... one day he's a fucking piece of shit to her but then she realizes NO other guy wants her nasty ass so she goes crrrrrawling back to him "oh babeee i love u so much ur the best" ...give it up you fucking toxic bitch ...get a life and move the fuck on! I can't wait for the day when he realizes he is SO SO SO much better than you, you fucking haggard cunt. Not to mention she cut up my fucking family and now she has the audacity to comment all over their walls how she misses them, is there for them, blah blah blah ...HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA they hate your fucking guts you clueless whore, the only reason they even keep you on FB is so they can creep, you mean shit to us.... always will! ☺  Ohhh.. PS. don't EVER expect to be a part of this family ♥

H23BD ♥

Ahhh yes! Today I get to write about someone soo super special to me you wouldn't even believe it! This girl has been my BEST FRIEND my entire life (and no it doesn't matter that she's my cousin, she's still very much one of my besties... I'd even classify her as more of a sister!♥) Born only 1 month and 10 days apart how couldn't we be the absolute best of friends!? We've been through so0o much together, it's kind of unreal. We have even lived with each other on a few different occassions! I'll never forget one awful night when we lived in the townhouses on Bearinger Rd. and my dad showed up to basically attack my mom :( and so her dad snuck us out the back door to her friends house and I was so scared and so upset, neither one of us had any idea what was going on but she sat with me, and held me reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. The second time we lived together was just a few years ago when Matt and I first broke up... I pretty much had no where else to go and she was the only person to open her home to me! We lived together for quite a few months and they honestly were the BEST months ever! We had so0ooo much fun, she let me wear her clothes, got me ready for the clubs and overall we just had a blast together! I was pretty upset about the split and she was always there to make me smile and pick me back up! My favourite quote of hers will forever be "you come right next to bronzer" in her list of most important things in her life! LOL, yessss... she's such a sweetheart!!! No matter what, I know she always has my back and I sincerely hope she knows I always have hers too! I haven't had the chance to see her in quite awhile... to be honest, I feel like absolute shit I didn't squeeze her into my plans when I was home... it was absolutely selfish of me but it made me realize just how much she means to me. And well, if she had done that to me... it's safe to say I'd be pretty pissed off but she still loves me all the same! She is a wonderful person who I have watched grow into a beautiful, mature young woman! Let me tell you, she has come a looooong way from the ketchup-covered-face-nail-biting-tomboy she use to be and I really couldn't be more proud to call her my family!! Love you babaayy ...come see me soon :)

Always together. Never apart. Best friends forever. Sisters at heart! ♥

3 posts in one day!? I know... I'm crazy.

I can't help it! 8-) I'm such a shy person but get me behind a computer(or on my phone), or put a pen in my hand and I just won't shut up! That goes for when you actually get to know me too ..ask any of my friends. Sammi=blah blah blah. Get use to it !! ;)

But that's why I'm writing again! I had a really awesome friend of mine, BBM me that she's actually excited for my blog... say whaaat!?  I didn't even think anyone was actually going to read this so it made me super happy and gave me the idea that I'm also going to use this blog to write about the wonderful people in my life, like her. And like so many others that I have been blessed to meet along the way! I'll probably mostly do it on their special days.. birthdays, anniversaries.. etc. (Someone very special coming up tomorrow!) but I might also just do it out of the random like this :) You'll come to find overall I'm a pretty random person but most of all, I just love to reminsice. I can't forget any single moment I have ever spent with anyone who means even the slightest to me, I call it a gift because memories are often the only thing you can hang on to forever. ♥

Ok, back to her! I might not always use their names because what's the point.. you probably don't know them (and I hate people who call others by name when I have absolutely no idea who they are, lol) and the important part is they'll just know it's them :) I met this lovely lady when we worked together at Zellers, she is just a couple years older than me but she is one of the wisest woman I know and I can always go to her for any kind of advice. She's always been there for me when I least expect it! A few years back when I didn't have a friend in the world, she was there and it truly surprised me. I knew she led a busy life with lots of friends but she always made time for me and my favourite memories are just sitting at Tim Horton's chatting up a storm! She has no idea what that means to me because it is not often I find someone that I can really open up to. We have always managed to stay in contact over the years and I sincerely hope we always will! Actually, you know... she is the only person (besides Zach's mom!xo) that sent us a card to congratulate us on our marriage. It was even hand-made :o Because that's the kind of person she is, beyond thoughtful ♥

Photoggg

So I've always been super interested in photography! (I loveeee looking at beautiful shots pretty much all day long.. lol, sometimes they literally take my breath away. Anyone who isn't signed up to Flickr - http://www.flickr.com/photos/sjarsenault/ - I highly suggest you do so. If you have any interest in doing the same, that is!) I've spent a lot of time just goofing around with cameras, mostly being in front of them with friends and family and lately have taken a real keen interest in getting behind one, a real good one! So for Christmas, Zach bought me a Canon Rebel T2i, woohoo!! I have zero experience and basically only knew how to shoot in fully automatic. Also I don't really feel it's something that just comes naturally to me. I have seen a few of my friends that are as well into photog that are way way way better than me, they definitely have an eye for it ;) (you know who you two are, I can't wait to shoot together ♥) !!! So I decided to sign up for a class at Mount Royal University! :) I finally started on May 5 and it's been a lot of fun so far, I'm really surprised with how much there is to learn! A lot of the mathematical aspects go waayy over my head... so I just smile and pretend I understand, LOL!!! Kidding, my teacher is awesome and he really helps anyone out who is confused so I'm getting the hang of it! I was kind of hoping to make some friends out here... but I'm just too shy and can't really seem to connect to anyone. I'm pretty sure even after 8 weeks, I will walk out of there alone :( Oh well, what can ya do!? At least I'll have learned a lot of great things! I'm not really sure what I'm hoping to take away from the class... I don't really plan on making a career out of this, I just enjoy taking pictures so why not take them well! 8-) It'll be fun to take pictures of my friends and family (some of my friends even have little families of their own now ♥) and "professional" pics can get a little pricey (Believe me, I know... I want them all the time! It's a good thing I have my husband to talk me out of these things...heheh) so that's what I'll be here for! To catch those special memories for them ;)

Well I'd like to go into more detail but to be honest, I've spent far too much time on here this morning! And I'm still a little sleepy! Chat soon

XX

Heeeello !

I'll be using this blog basically just to talk.. to anyone who's willing to listen :) Life is a constant battle of up's and down's and sometimes it's nice to just let it all out. Whether I'm happy, sad, angry.. whatever! I'm a Cancer, I'm very in tune with my feelings which really means I'm often far too emotional but hey what can ya do!? So I'm sure you'll see a lot of depressing posts, but I'm not depressed! Let me asure you that I am the happiest I have ever been. It has just been a long long road to here... and I'm only 23 (well, soon!) so I know there's going to be many many more trials and tribulations to come and I'm game, baby!! Bring on the storm, because I'm all about dancing in the rain! ♥


I'll use this first blog to tell you a little bit about myself. In case you don't already know me :) I was born and raised in Kitchener, ON and I currently reside in Calgary, AB. I have amazing friends and an even more amazing family. Most of them are still in Ontario and I miss them so0o much!!!! But life in Kitchener... well, it was crazy! And that's to say the least. I knew I had to get away, break the mould and find who I was. So I did.. I was given an awesome opportunity to come out here with my Mom and Stepdad (a few years after losing my real dad, we'll touch more on that in blogs to come) and honestly, it was the scariest decision I had ever made. Imagine packing up your whole life and leaving everything and everyone you've ever known... upon my arrival, I was miserable. Me and my stepdad (his name is Jeff, we'll refer to him by that lol) drove here... it took us 3 days, I don't think I stopped crying once :( The hardest part of all was leaving my very best friend in the world, the only girl I've ever fully trusted and connected with more on a sister level than a friend (she's amazing! And I'm sorry that life has caused us to grow apart a little bit but she will forever remain my best friend ever and I will always ALWAYS love her!) and my Nana, my rock! (I owe so much to my nan that it will be absolutely impossible for me to ever repay her. All I can do is promise from here on out to be the best I can be, make her proud and love her with absolutely everything that I am. She is the strongest woman I know and I already know I'll never be half the wife. mom, grandmother, daughter, sister, friend she is.)  ...it was definitely quite the change and it took me a few months to adapt. I went back home for a visit after just 2 months and let me tell you, I didn't think I was going to last out here. Home was just... home. You know!? But I was quickly back into my old habits and reminded myself "no matter how much you love the people, you left for a reason. And if they love you, they'll always be there." and so far they have :) I still have all my old friends and even though I don't get to see them on a daily basis... I never forget they are there. I can feel them and we talk as if I never went anywhere. I can honestly say I think me and my boy BFF are even closer than ever! I can hardly go a day without talking to him and the second I do, I'm nothing but smiles! It's nothing like the way it use to be, (sometimes I just want to hug him or hang out and be silly, get our hair did, drank some white russians.. whatevs!) but it means a lot to me how strong we remain from so far away! And my favourite story of all is how close I've grown to an old highschool friend, I can easily call her one of my best friends these days. I DEFINITELY can't go a day without talking to her and it's kind of hilarious how alike we are, we're aaalways on the same page! She makes me laugh, lets me rant, pretty much helps me through everything and most of all... she makes me feel good, she's the person who helps me to see what I'm worth when I think it's nothing! She even builds my confidence in things that I love like photography. She is overall an amazing person. It sucks most of our relationship is via BBM but I know we've grown so close that once I do make it home, it'll feel like we were together the whole time and for that I am grateful :) I hope ALL my friends (sorry if I didn't mention you, I love you just the same) know just how much they mean to me, I think of them every single day ♥ ♥ ♥

But anyways,things started to turn around out here in Calgary, and my mom was able to land me a job with her (still have the job and love it!)... well this is basically where everyyyything changes... I found the love of my life on the other side of the country and I no longer regretted moving here for one second. Our first year together was INSANE!! I can't even put it all into words how much of a rollercoaster ride we had, but we never gave up (even though we almost had a few times, something told us not to) and in October 2009, he asked me to marry him! Our "trip to the alter" was probably even crazier than our first year together. Between his family not being involved, my family being TOO involved, Jeff falling ill, us being stressed whether to do it in Ontario, Alberta, Mexico... etc was a little too much and we called the whooole thing off! It came as a shock to a lot of people, and the truth is.. we were crumbling. It was awful because it wasn't even issues with us, it was issues regarding this darn wedding! Well I went home in August 2010 for a little bit of a break, far too long of a break (it was only 10 days but when you're not use to spending even one night away from someone.. it felt like an eternity!) and it truly brought Zach and I closer than ever. He said to me "enough of the bullshit, I just want you to be my wife." so I came home and we planned the most perfect little backyard wedding in September with no one but us, our photographer, witness and a commissioner. It really is as simple as that... it was perfect, it was us!! We ordered chinese and went home to spend an amazing night together ♥ I know this is just the beginning  of our life together and I am so excited for more to come... I recently tweeted (ps. follow me! LOL.. @sammijoxo) "he is the only person in this world who can make me laugh when I'm absolutely broken." and it's true... he's my soul mate. When I feel like giving up on life, he's there to pick me back up. He didn't have a glamorous childhood either and I think that's why it's so easy for us to relate. We are definitely wise beyond our years, that's what happens when you have to grow up far too soon. We both learned in the end, all you can ever rely on is yourself. (And finally, now each other ♥)